Are You A Christian Tiger Mom?- Pt. 2

By Renee Jamerson

This week I finished reading Amy Chua's book, Battle Hymn of A Tiger Mom. If any of you remember, Chua's book gained notoriety due to her "strict" and sometimes seemly "authoritarian" parenting-style. Chua however, described herself as a typical Chinese mother...a "Tiger Mom". None of us are strangers to the stereotyping that occurs with people of Asian descent (mostly Chinese and Indian), of them being brainiacs and wiz kids. I began reading this book because I wanted to look into the stereotype for myself and (to be truthful) pick up some tip to help my children amazing grades for the upcoming school year. What I found was that besides traditional family beliefs, there was also the idea of training the child as opposed to raising the child (which according to Chua is a Western ideology). Many of the Asian familial and child rearing beliefs are founded on the ideas of Confucius' Chiao Shun (training) and Guan (govern and love). These concepts have been described as strict by a lot of parents others have viewed them as just a difference in culture.

This got me to thinking about what the bible had to say regarding a mother's attitude toward academic success for her children. Should I, as a Christian, be a "Tiger Mom"?

 For the first half of our list, check out Are You A Christian Tiger Mom?- Pt.1 with that said let's get into the second half of our list. 

7. When a child continues to disobey you, he/she deserves a spanking- Despite popular belief spanking is actually in the bible and is an acceptable discipline when administered with patience, control and explanation. There is actually a manual on the Focus On the Family website on how to administer a proper and biblical spanking. The book of Proverbs is full of scriptures on spanking.  

Biblical Support: "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them"- Proverbs 13:24 

8. Mothers primarily express love by helping children succeed- I think this goes above with #7. You disciple out of love and the need to teach life lessons to help your child succeed. -see Proverbs 13:24

9. A mother's sole interest is in taking care of her child- While it is impossible for child-rearing to be your only interest, it should be one of your most important interest.

Biblical Support: "Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure to be busy at home..."- Titus 2:4-5

10. Child should be in the constant care of their mothers or family- We can only imagine the trouble an unattended child could get into or even the poor result in the life of a child not properly raised.

Biblical Support: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."- Proverbs 29:15

11. Mothers should do everything for their child's education and make many sacrifices- Any parent knows that the decision to be someones mother or father is a huge responsibility that requires great sacrifice and selflessness. Little people depending on you night and day, your eyes the first to open and the last to close with no days off.

Biblical Support: The whole entire chapter of Proverbs 31. 

It looks like despite how "strict" the ideologies of traditional Asian child-rearing may seem it appears that Chiao Shun and Guan fall in line with God's idea of what a devoted mother should be...a Tiger! Anyone else feel a roar coming on?!? Being a parent is not easy but it sure does help when you at least have guidelines for what you're supposed to be doing. 

Stay Strong Mommas and as always Be Fruitful!

1 Chao, Ruth K. Beyond Parental Control and Authoritarian Parenting Style: Understanding Chinese Parenting through the Cultural Notion of Training. Child Development, 1994, 65, 1111-1119

Are You A Christian Tiger Mom?- Pt.1

by Renee Jamerson

This week I finished reading Amy Chua's book, Battle Hymn of A Tiger Mom. If any of you remember, Chua's book gained notoriety due to her "strict" and sometimes seemly "authoritarian" parenting-style. Chua however, described herself as a typical Chinese mother...a "Tiger Mom". None of us are strangers to the stereotyping about people of Asian descent (mostly Chinese and Indian), being brainiacs and wiz kids. I began reading this book because I wanted to look into the stereotype for myself and (to be truthful) pick up some tips to help my children get amazing grades for this school year. What I found was that besides traditional family beliefs, there was also the idea of training the child as opposed to raising the child (which according to Chua is a Western ideology). Many of the Asian familial and child rearing beliefs are founded on the ideas of Confucius' Chiao Shun (training) and Guan (govern and love). These concepts have been described as strict by a lot of parents, while others have viewed them as just a difference in culture.

This got me to thinking about what the bible had to say regarding a mother's attitude toward academic success for her children. Should I, as a Christian, be a "Tiger Mom"?

 According to a study conducted by Ruth K. Chao of the University of California (1), there are 13 training items to this concept; with the exception of 2 (which involve parent/child co-sleeping) we will discuss 11 and how they correlate with the Bible.

1. Children by nature are born good. - While some may say that no one is born good because we are all born sinners, this statement is referencing a child's way of thinking and seeing life.

Biblical support: "But Jesus said, Suffer little children and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."- Matthew 19:14

2. Parents must begin training a child as soon as their ready- This one maybe a bit tricky because who's to say what is ready for anything. But I think its safe to say us parents kind of get a discernment for when our children are capable of learning new things and we should support that ability as soon as we see it.

Biblical support: If you remember correctly David was a young boy shepherding his father's sheep, he stood up to Goliath with great faith (1 Samuel 17). Jesus himself was a young boy of 12 years old when he stayed behind in Jerusalem to hear the teachers and then soon left to be about his father's business (Luke 2:41-52).

3. Children can improve in almost anything if they work hard- We are constantly called to practice righteousness throughout the bible, this just goes with the adage that "practice makes perfect" no matter what it is your practicing.

Biblical Support: "Those things which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you." -Phillipians 4:9

4. Mothers must train children to work very hard and be disciplined- Of course we all want well-behaved and responsible hard working children.

Biblical Support:  "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men" - Colossians 3:23

5. Mothers teach children by pointing out good behaviors in other people- I don't know about you but I do this all the time. Most of the time I use biblical figures as examples.

Biblical Support: Aside from the fact that Jesus referenced people from the Old Testament all the time. There are so many examples: need bravery (David), a lustful son (Samson), unconditional love (Jesus), Jealousy (Cain and Abel) and the list goes on and on.

6. The best way children learn how to behave is to be around adults- Let alone the fact that we all read about Never Never Land and the lost boys. Parental presence is all too necessary in the proper raising of a child, even Jesus needed a mother and teachers while he was here on earth.

Biblical Support: see again Luke 2:41-52

Who knew right?!? It's look like according to our list so far, those Tiger Moms maybe on to something...check back next week for the second half our list and your finally decision on whether you should be a Christian Tiger Mom!

Jump into Are You A Christian Tiger Mom?- Pt. 2

Be Fruitful!

1 Chao, Ruth K. Beyond Parental Control and Authoritarian Parenting Style: Understanding Chinese Parenting through the Cultural Notion of Training. Child Development, 1994, 65, 1111-1119

Back to School, Back to Reality

My timeline has been buzzing for the last couple of weeks with parents celebrating their children's first days to or back to school. I have a confession...every time I see one, I am filled with anxiety! This year I have 2 kids returning to school and 1 headed to Kindergarten, that gives me 3 kids in school and 1 toddler {biting nails}.

It started out as excitement, my bopsies ("Irish Twins") would finally be together (at least in the same school) and I would truly only have 1 "baby". The more I began to think of this upcoming school year I began to feel nervous. Thoughts like, How will I get through all of that homework? How will I every get anything done around the house during the week? What time will I have to cook dinner? What if one is struggling, while I'm trying to assist the other two? How will I keep the baby out of my hair long enough to assist the other three? On and on the thoughts came, until I could be a victim no longer! I headed over to the Board of Education website and began printing packets for the upcoming year, figuring this would give the girls a head start on the material they would be covering. I spoke about this briefly in my Mid-Summer Wind Down article. This eased my anxiety a little, then I realized what I needed was a plan of action!

My life saving tool when all seems awry is organization and structure, find it or build it. I began pulling my old schedules and Peek At The Weeks that I had used for the kids this past year and reworked them.  I recreated a general schedule for what my normal week would look like, what I expected the girls to do after-school and when; for this I used an hourly template with columns for each girl. Including everything from homework to snack. Doing this allowed me to see the available time slots that would be open after I got home from work. Since there is a column for me on the sheet, I was able to schedule in time for homework check, cooking, cleaning, bathing and hair care. I also found these great morning and bedtime routine door hangers (yes, it's amazing the things you can find online)!

The next issue that was causing me anxiety were the school supplies lists. Trying to eyeball and check-off items from 3 different lists with more than 20 items was causing me to lose my mind. Plus I was certain I didn't need to buy everything on them because I had extras from the year before. To tackle this problem I created a School Supply Inventory Sheet. I consolidated those three lists into one sheet containing the number of each item needed per child. I then pulled out every school supply in my house and the used item from last year and began to write in how many we had in stock. Finally, I was ready to search for deals and coupons. Updating the inventory sheet upon each purchase to reflect the newly stocked items. Creating this sheet made back to school shopping soooo much easier and kept me from overspending. It also gave me the clear mind I needed to comparison shop.

To some this may all seem complicated and like a lot of work but I prefer to work with an organized plan and like they say "failure to plan = a plan to fail".

Best of luck this school year and as always Be Fruitful!